1/19 - Edison's Pub

When I walked in on time (yeah, Anno was just as shocked as you), there was 1 person at the bar. Not a good sign. And it was butt ass cold. Aren't I a master at pointing out the obvious?
But, I'm not talking about just outside. It was super duper cold in the bar too.

The very cool thing they had going for them were these candle holders made from Jager bottles. Mudcat's theory is that Jim and Eroc spent a lot of time there. Gotta know Jim and Eroc.
The bottles were cut so that they were just a rectangle, with about 3 inches of sand in the bottom and a votive candle holder (complete with candle) on top of the sand. A really great look. They also doubled as hand warmers during the breaks.

It was even more balmy every time someone opened the door. Since we were in direct line of the arctic blast every time the door opened, it was determined that there would more than likely be a wet T-shirt contest, which was followed by the frozen T-shirt contest comment, which was directly followed by "pornography for the blind". Now that's funny. I don't care what you say.

Josh was the 1 person who was at the bar when I got there and bless his heart, he was there for the duration. I'm well aware that his tenure had more to do with the beer than with us, but I don't' care. He was a nice boy who clapped for us EVERY time.

Barbara, the beer goddess took care of us with her special Lake Erie Highball (less the toothpick).

Oh, and we had a real life close talker. Thankfully, Bobby could also sing.

Things picked up a titch, but at one point in between songs a girl at the bar pointed out that there were more people in the band than were at the bar. See, I'm not the only one who's mastered the obvious.

At 1:00-ish, give or take an ish the place got packed. Must have been the food service industry drinking shift. By closing time, no one would leave. Last call was announced, drinks were taken away, lights were turned up high (which thankfully gave off a teensie bit of heat) and still no one left. They were either too drunk to notice or they didn't want to go back out into the colder cold than what was in the bar.

I swear it was like a scene from Northern Exposure with everyone sitting around in their parkas, hat, scarf, and gloves while hanging out socializing.

Oh, but let's not forget Psycho Boy. We were in the midst of packing up the equipment when this guy who looked like he couldn't even drive, much less be in a bar drinking, steps in front of me and asks me when the seance was going to start. I responded with, "seance?", to which he replied, "yeah, you know seance - calling the spirits". Once again, let me point out that I am not alone in the mastery of the obvious. So, of course I had to tell him that I was well aware of what the word meant. Then like a stoogebah, I asked him if he was in charge (of the seance, remember the seance?) and he told me that no one knows who's in charge and the people who are in charge don't know what's going on and that's the problem with our country. I told him that was good to know and then immersed myself in my work. Winding cords back up to the packing stage can be a very demanding job, which takes complete concentration.

After the van was packed and ready to roll Anno, Mud, and I howled at the moon (in 3 part harmony, no less). Hey, I know it wasn't official full-like, but it was close enough for government work.

Other than that, I got nothin'.

1/4 - The Pump

Again with the locked doors (see New Year's Eve post). Third time's a charm, though. Finally found my way inside.

Then I had a wee bit of technical difficulty - the rubber earpiece of my ear buds flew off into oblivion. It's way too stressful to have your rubber shoot across the room and yet still be expected to perform. Mud gave me a spare set of ear buds to use until we took a break and then went in search of my rubber. Anno was convinced that my magic carpet is truly magical, that it made my earpiece disappear. It didn't. With Mud's handy dandy flashlight, he found the earpiece resting comfortably on the floor behind Anno.

C-Man, Anno, and Mudcat were oh so too very excited to discover the guitar hooks on the walls just waiting to hold their guitars. It's all documented on film. Stupid me thought they were coat hooks. Oopsie.

Here's another misperception by Lola: when C-Man came back from the bar with his sandwich and the carryall for the condiments, I thought the carryall was a six pack of beer. I really need to stop thinking. Luckily, I've chosen something that shouldn't be too difficult to accomplish!

We had some dancers, but they must have tuckered themselves out, because they went back to their table to chair dance. Oh well, at least they were enjoying themselves.

Never judge a book by it's cover (although I have read a lot of good books choosing them solely by their cover), or a man by his clothes. There was a big ole burly guy sitting at the bar sporting a well worn leather jacket and a derby hat. Now don't you picture him drinking whisky? Well, I did. Nope - white zinfandel. Go figure.

Oh, and let's not forget the "terrorist cell" shooting pool all night. Their under roos of choice was tightie whities. At least we were safe in the knowledge that their own personal cue balls were not free to roam about the cabin.

It's also been determined that Mudcat does not like SPAM and that Yahoo driving directions suck (and not in a good way).

1/3 – Put-In-Bay, Lakewood

The evening was one of distorted unrest, but some of us rested during the distortion.

And I don’t know about you, but if bartending were my profession and someone ordered water, I would find the biggest glass that I could to put that water in. Since the water is free, there’s a darn good chance that the person ordering the water will not leave a tip, so the big glass would mean less trips back to the bar, which would mean less work for the bartender to do for free. So then why would a bartender find the tiniest cup (next to a shot glass) to serve water in? Perhaps he just loves his job so much that he doesn’t do it for the money. Or not. Guess what size glass I got when I ordered water.

Here’s a cold weather tip: frigid temperatures will not affect you if you are either from Minnesota, drunk, or both.

If you’re in need of a mathematical tip, then you’ve come to the right place. Ready? Let’s begin. No wait, that’s learning a foreign language. Okay, whatever.
When spoken, the words “one” and “eleven” sound quite different and are generally not interchangeable. When written, 11 becomes 1 if the person writing those numbers gets tired (or forgets to keep writing). When ending a gig, just split the difference and stop at midnight.

Now get out there in the cold and do some math.

12/31 - The Elyria Eagle's Club

Girls, I’m sure you already know this and even you boys will think it’s most obvious, but I figured it out from trial by fire – high healed dress sandals are not meant for hiking, they’re just meant to be used as an accessory for your feet while sitting.

And here’s how I learned that: When I got to the gig I parked next to the band van near the side door, figuring that would be the most logical place to park. It was for leaving the building, but not for entering. There was no door handle on the outside of that particular door. As I was making my way around the front of the building to the main door, which turned out to be at the opposite end of the building, not in the middle or even remotely close to the middle of the building, I happened upon yet another door with no handle.

I was not quite to the completely annoyed stages of my travels yet and my dogs were just starting to whine a wee bit when I finally arrived at the front door complete with handles! However, it was also locked. There was a nice hand written sign on the door informing me that the place was closed for a private party. Well yeah, that’s why I was there. It also instructed me to go to the back door.

I stood there for a moment weighing my options as to which would be the shortest route, assuming that the back door would be directly opposite the front door. So I made my way around the building to where the sidewalk ended (which was not nearly as much fun as Shel Silverstein’s version) only to come upon a fenced in area that was not meant for maneuvering around. I did have a flicker of hope when I saw another door on the side of the building just before the sidewalk ended, but oh guess what - no door handle. Yeah, I was just as shocked as you.

Then I realized that I would have to walk back up the side of the building, all the way across the front of the building, down the other side of the building, all the way across the back of the building to get to where I hoped would be a back door that was unlocked, complete with a handle.

My dogs progressed from a whine to a full-fledged bark about half way back across the front and I was quickly approaching the completely annoyed stage of my travels.

I finally made it to the back door and it did have a handle and it was unlocked. This door opened right into the main room where about 70 people had synchronized head turning to see who was entering. I was a little uncomfortable having all those eyes staring at me, but they quickly lost interest and looked away.

Apparently the way to celebrate New Year’s Eve in Elyria is by wearing your best football jersey and feasting on kielbasa and sauerkraut, canned green beans, corn and potatoes. Oops, almost forgot the roll and butter.

The best way to wash down that gourmet feast is with Elyria’s own special water, which needed a lot of lemon to make it drinkable. Other than the weird feeling it left my tongue with and Mud getting some of the water stuck in his teeth it was a most refreshing beverage.

Later that same day, some of the people were calling out “rock and roll!”, so we played Mony Mony and when it gets to the part you all know and love, C-Man and Anno yelled it out. Everyone just stared up at us like we had burst into flames and gone straight to Hell. Ya see, there was a really big sign at the side of the bar warning us that profanity would not be tolerated. Great. So, when it came around again on the guitar they changed it up to the PG version of “stay home, read a book”. We returned from the depths of Hell to our original forms. I was hoping for a new form for myself, but all I got was the same old one. Oh well, at least I wasn’t on fire anymore.

We did have some dancers, but it took them until about 11:00 to finally get out on the dance floor.

Bob & Rita celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary (twice).

Tom came up and sang Johnny Be Good.

Other than that, I got nothin’.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!